The Short Answer
The Bible clearly teaches that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that marriage is intended to be a lifelong covenant. However, Scripture does permit divorce in certain circumstances (adultery, abandonment by an unbeliever) and allows for remarriage in those cases. For those already divorced, there is grace, forgiveness, and a path forward.
God’s Original Design: Marriage Is Meant to Last
Before discussing exceptions, we must understand God’s heart for marriage:
Matthew 19:4-6 — “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Malachi 2:16 — “”The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty.”
God designed marriage to be a permanent, one-flesh union that reflects Christ’s relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Divorce was never His intention—it exists because of human sinfulness and hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8).
Does the Bible Allow Divorce?
While God hates divorce, Scripture does acknowledge that it is sometimes permitted. There are two clear grounds for divorce in the New Testament:
1. Sexual Immorality (Adultery)
Matthew 19:9 — “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Jesus says that sexual immorality (porneia) is an exception that permits divorce. When one spouse breaks the marriage covenant through adultery, the innocent spouse is free to divorce. This doesn’t mean they must divorce—reconciliation is always preferable—but they are permitted to do so.
2. Abandonment by an Unbelieving Spouse
1 Corinthians 7:15 — “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.”
If an unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage (refuses to live with the believing spouse), the believer is “not enslaved”—meaning they are free from the marriage bond. Many scholars believe this also covers situations where a spouse’s behavior (abuse, severe neglect) constitutes constructive abandonment.
What About Remarriage?
This is where Christians have different views. Here at Higher Praise, we present the main perspectives:
View 1: Remarriage Is Permitted for the Innocent Party
Most evangelical scholars believe that when divorce is biblically permitted (adultery or abandonment), the innocent party is also free to remarry. The exception clause in Matthew 19:9 covers both divorce and remarriage. Similarly, “not enslaved” in 1 Corinthians 7:15 implies freedom to remarry.
View 2: Remarriage Is Never Permitted While the Former Spouse Lives
A minority view holds that while divorce may be tolerated, remarriage is always adultery because the original marriage bond persists until death (Romans 7:2-3; Mark 10:11-12). Those holding this view believe divorced persons should remain single or reconcile.
View 3: The Pastoral Approach
Many churches take a case-by-case approach, recognizing that:
- Some divorces happened before conversion
- Some people were divorced against their will
- Complex situations (abuse, addiction, mental illness) don’t fit neat categories
- God’s grace covers past failures when there is genuine repentance
What If I’m Already Divorced?
If you’ve been through divorce—regardless of the circumstances—here is what Higher Praise wants you to know:
1. Divorce Is Not the Unforgivable Sin
No sin is beyond God’s forgiveness except the final rejection of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:31). Jesus forgave the woman at the well who had five husbands (John 4). He forgave the woman caught in adultery (John 8). He can forgive you too.
1 John 1:9 — “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
2. Acknowledge What Happened Honestly
Healing begins with honesty. Even if you were the “innocent” party, most divorces involve some fault on both sides. Confess whatever you contributed—bitterness, neglect, retaliation—and receive God’s cleansing.
3. Don’t Let the Past Define Your Future
God is the God of second chances. David committed adultery and murder—and was called “a man after God’s own heart.” Peter denied Christ—and became a pillar of the church. Your past does not disqualify you from God’s love or purpose.
4. Seek Wise Counsel About Remarriage
If you’re considering remarriage, seek guidance from your pastor and trusted believers. Be honest about what happened in your previous marriage. Take time to heal before pursuing a new relationship. Learn from past mistakes.
What About Abuse?
The Bible doesn’t explicitly name abuse as grounds for divorce, but many scholars believe it falls under the principle of abandonment. A spouse who physically harms, severely neglects, or terrorizes their partner has effectively abandoned the marriage covenant.
If you are in an abusive situation:
- Your safety comes first. Get to a safe place immediately.
- Separation is not the same as divorce. You can separate for safety while seeking help.
- Seek help from your church and professionals. Abuse is not something to handle alone.
- God does not require you to endure violence. He is a protector of the oppressed (Psalm 82:3-4).
Advice for Those Considering Divorce
If your marriage is struggling but not yet ended:
- Exhaust every option for reconciliation. Seek counseling. Pray. Give God time to work.
- Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. Many marriages that seemed hopeless have been restored.
- Consider the impact on children. This isn’t about guilt—but children are affected by divorce. Their wellbeing matters.
- Examine your own heart. Are you looking for an escape, or is divorce truly the last resort?
- Seek godly counsel. Don’t make this decision alone or based only on advice from people who will just agree with you.
Conclusion: Grace and Truth
The Bible holds two truths together: God’s high standard for marriage and His deep grace for those who fall short.
If your marriage is intact, fight for it. Honor your vows. Seek help when you’re struggling. Marriage is worth protecting.
If you’ve been through divorce, don’t let shame keep you from God. Bring your brokenness to Him. Receive His forgiveness. Trust Him with your future.
And if you’re in a situation right now where divorce seems inevitable, seek wisdom, move slowly, and trust that God will guide you through even this valley.
Psalm 34:18 — “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Are you navigating a difficult marriage or the aftermath of divorce? Share in the comments—we’d love to pray for you.